hells_demon_in_leather

     I have heard it said many times the pen is mightier then the sward.  Well I am about to put that theory to the test.   Right now I am so angry I could punch my fist through a wall or maybe my neighbors face.   But instead of doing either I thought I would write a blog to vent my feelings.   I was over at another neighbors house.   And the neighbor I am now angry at came in.   They are both having some issues with people that I am not having issues with, and the owner of the house we were at I think understands my feelings on the issues, but the other neighbor tried to get me to put complaints in against neighbors I do not personally have any issues with.   The fact of the matter is one of the people she wanted me to complain against has never been anything but respectful to me.   I have heard rumors that he sells drugs. but I myself have never seen him doing it.   I have no first hand knowledge of  him doing anything illegal.   If I had first hand knowledge of him doing something illegal that was bothering me I would have no problem calling the police and everyone that know me know I will as I have in the past.   I however WILL NOT say I saw something I did not see, nor will I be drug into a lynch mob to try to get people evicted from their homes simply because people I hang out with think I should/

     I myself have been the victim of people saying I did things I did not do so I know how it feels and I will not do it to someone else.   I feel every mans own actions shout stand as proof of their character and not what someone else says about them.   The human animal is swayed by their emotions and will let them color their actions.   The woman actually said to me that if 3 of us got together maybe we could get these people out of here.   My friend who's house we were at said that I would not do it.   She knows me.   Then the other woman said I should help out.   IT WAS AT THAT POINT I SAW RED! but instead of going off and starting a fight in my friends house, I politely said to my friend I would see her later and I left and came home to vent my anger on this blog.

     Her idea of helping out and my idea are very different..   To me helping out is to try to make the community a better place by setting a good example not by picking at someone simply because I do not like how they enjoy themselves.   I try to help neighbors when I can.   I pick up litter when I see it on the ground.   I warn children to be careful if I see them doing something they can get hurt at.   To me these things are helping out.   For nearly a decade I was secretary of our residents council and we ran a food bank and had parties for the children on holidays.   A church group was having an event for the children of the neighborhood last Saturday.   I donated money to them I also went over and helped keep the floors dry as the children were playing in the sprinklers and were tracking water into the hall.  When some of the ladies in the hall got hungry  I went down to the bar b q on the playground and got them food and brought it back to them.   All these things I think are helping out.   I was so very angry at my neighbor for implying I do not help out that had I stayed in my friends house I would have caused her much stress because I would have told our neighbor off.   I thought the best thing for me to do was just excuse myself, leave them to continue chatting ( and plotting against the people they were mad at ) in peace.   That way my friend did not need to act as referee, and she and I can continue to be good friends.   I feel this other neighbor owes me an apology though and if she does not give it to me I will just leave when she is around, but if she says sorry or something to let me know she did not mean it the way I took it I will forgive her.   I always forgive people that apologize if they do me wrong.

     I do not feel I am wrong to not seek to have people evicted that have done me not harm.

     It is said we make our own luck, and a lot of times I believe that.   Thing is from time to time an external force plays a part in our luck.   I have said many times karma is the great equalizer.   If you put negativity out into the world it will come back to you.   This applies to many things in life.   I have told many of my friends if you brag and think you are better then someone else you will mess up.   It is life's way of knocking you off your high horse.  

     There is another expression pride goes before a fall,   Two people I know found that out this very night they were bragging a lot and they fell on their faces.  They had too much pride and they took a fall as a result.   I never say I am good at anything, but I have been know to ask people am I good or what?  lol By me asking others if I am good I am not bragging on myself I am letting others have the opportunity to tell me if I am good or not.   That way karma does not get me for bragging.  

     There are other things that effect what happens to us also.   Have you ever heard of the law of positive attraction.   It states that you get what you attract to you.   You attract these things to you by keeping positive thoughts about them in your head.   I will give you a for instance.   I have gotten quite a bit of debt this Christmas. but I believe it will all be paid off by March.   Now I am  not going to just set around and wait for it to magically disappear.    It does not work that way, but I believe things will happen that will allow me to shift things around so I can pay it off in a timely manner.   I am going to attract the funds to me.   I do not know how but I will.   Last time I had something like this going on where I needed something and did not have the money to get it quite to my surprise a friend bought it for me.   Those that I actually call my friends are some of the best people in the world.   They are loving, caring, generous, understanding when I get nuts, and I do a lot.   They are always there to left me up when I fall. That is why I would do nearly anything for those I call my friends.   I have many buddies but a buddy is not the same as a friend.   A buddy you can talk to or play games with , but a friend will be there when you are sick and scared.   I have one friend that will do nearly anything I ask her too    Friends like that are rare and hard to find so I am hanging on to her with both hands .

     I do not know if any of you will like this blog or not but sometimes when things are bugging you it is good to put it in writing to get it off your chest so you can think about more important things.     

      It is so frustrating when you try to get away from things that stress you out only to have new things take their place.   Take tonight for instance I got a call this evening telling me my brother had a heart attack.   I was looking for a way to occupy my mind while I wait for the doctor to decide how bad it was.    I went in to play some pool.   BIG MISTAKE.   It was not nearly as relaxing as I had hoped it would be.   I ended up in 3 games running at one time and if that was not stressful enough one of the people I played not only tried to lie their way into a win they tried to make it look like I was the one that was lying.   I decided when my chest started hurting I should just let them have it if they wanted the win that bad, and get some distance so I could calm myself down.   There is a bitter irony to the fact the thing you are doing to relax makes you more stressed out.  

     Another thing that is frustrating is the obsession people seem to have with who I am.     It should come as no surprise to anyone that Demona is not my real name.   I mean seriously who would do that to a child?   I picked the name because it went with my league id and the league itself better then my real name.    The fascinating thing is now many people who know it is me think it is important to tell me they know.   And what is more interesting is the few people I actually told it was me at least one of them has been telling people it was me even after saying they would not.   Why do people say they will keep things to themselves when they have no intention of doing so?     There was a time in this country I am told that people were as good as their word.   A time when trust was one of the most important things someone could have.   I wish those days still existed.   Life would be so much easier someone told you something and you would know it was true without a doubt.   That would especially come in handy when someone said they love you or that they have your back or that they will always be there for you.