Some of you may have noticed my friends list on this page is getting smaller. There is a reason for that. As of late I have noticed some of the people I once saw as of value in my life were not what they pretended to be. I find this highly ironic as 2 of these people that I had stood beside and have taken up for against others that were in fact closer to me when I felt they were being attacked wrongly, have themselves turned on me for no reason. I was in playing last night and I saw in the lobby where someone I had defended and stood behind put me on ignore when I had not said or done anything to her. That action would seem to confirm something I had suspected for a couple weeks but could not confirm,. That she had turned on me long before she put me on ignore. The irony of this is I had been told by another person who is not on my list anymore and has not ben for nearly a year, this person would turn on me when she was done using me to get what she wanted. I did not believe it when it was told to me, but apparently it is true. The actions of last night would tend to point me in that line of thinking.
It is funny less then a year ago such things would have made me depressed and insecure. It no longer does as I have discovered I do not need others for my happiness I can make it myself. The interesting thing is this reality came out of an emotionally devastating thing that happened nearly a year ago. I will not go into what it was but it changed my whole out look on the net world and my real world as well. I have been happier the past 4 months then I had been in the 2 years prior. I told a good friend of mine I plan to ride this high as far as it will go. I do not plan to let any of the negativity from the past drag me down again. That is why I am keeping the grain ( those people that will help to grow my newer happier life ) and getting rid of the chaff ( those people who seek to drag me down and suffocate me with their negativity). I have decided to allow Karma deal with those negative people as only it can.
On the subject of Karma dealing with those that spread negativity, Lets take a look at the first man I ever really loved. When we met he was 80% of everything I ever wanted in a man. The other 20% ruined it. I would have done nearly anything he wanted in the beginning, but in less then 2 years it all went bad. He mentally messed me up so bad I still have a ptsd reaction to some things, but over time we both found ways of moving on and even becoming friends again. It was after he met the woman he would have married that Karma stepped in and paid him back for all the bad things he did to me. It was very sad he died the Friday before Christmas when he was to be wed the following June had he lived. Ever sense I met him he had been looking to get married again. He had asked me to marry him before it all went bad, but I was not moving to Cal. and I could not get him to come back to Pa. We met too late in life I think. We were both too set in our ways. Things like moving across the whole country require youth or a love that will overcome anything. We did not have one that strong if we had he would not have mentally abused me like he did. That story proves Karma is the great equalizer, but it does it in its own time not in yours.
My best advice to EVERYONE is to keep the good grains in your life: the people that are strong and hold you up, those that you can count on to be there when you are at your lowest, those that do not believe lies about you told by people that are jealous of you, those that see you for who you really are and love you just the same. These are the good grains that will grow your friendship garden strong and prosperous. Get rid of the chaff: the people that are only there when they need you, but would not be there you needed them, those that are always willing to believe anything negative anyone says about you without question, those that will walk away from you without even a good bye. These are the people you do not need, because there is nothing to be gained by keeping them around you. You should only keep those that value you as much as you value them.
If you check out my picture section on this profile you will find some signs that say it better then I can. Always remember to separate the grain from the chaff and throw away the chaff.
