On a chilly winter day, a group of hedgehogs decides to huddle together for warmth, but as they move closer, they begin to prick one another with their quills. They immediately move away from one another, only to have the frigid air drive them back together. But again, the painful pricking occurs and they step back.
This is the hedgehog’s dilemma. Often called the porcupine problem, it’s a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy.
It was outlined by German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer in 1851, who concludes that the hedgehogs “discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another.”
In other words, the hedgehogs realize that while they want to be close, the only way to avoid hurting one another is to avoid getting too close. That story was suggested to me by a friend. I had never heard of it before, but after reading it I realize that it is very true. Every time I get too close to people I like one of us hurts the other and pushes us apart.
