jcesplace

joined: 2007-05-21
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Mahjong

Mahjong

Mahjong
9 hours ago

Southern Women

If a Southern Woman says "What did you say?" She isn't asking you to repeat it.
She's asking if you're good with Jesus....cause you're about to meet Him.


Ole Cowboys

Two cowboys standing at the bar drinking with one of them looking out over the tables. As he studies the crowd he's looking hard at this one gal. He elbows his buddy and says "look ain't that ole Hortense over there"? His buddy turns around and says "nah, she looks pretty relaxed to me". duh!!!
Two ole drunk cowboys stumbled out of the honky tonk and as they walked past the row of cars, one noticed this ole dog rolled over on it's back licking himself. "I wish I could do that" he said. His buddy said "You might want to pet him first".!!
These aren't very funny times folks, with all the sickness, droughts, wild fires, Queens dieing and crazies with guns it's almost like a world I don't recognise. Some we can correct ourselves the others, we might want to pray and ask for help with those.


Somewhat Funny

A woman goes shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves. The husband says, "No chance love, they're way too expensive." Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep. The husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and lower on to her thigh. She turns to him and says, "I don't think so mate. If you're not prepared to shoe the horse, then you sure as hell ain't riding it!" ¬ Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Man: A guy just got hit by a car, I need an ambulance. Operator: What's your location? Man: I'm on Eucalyptus street. Operator: Can you spell that for me? Man: (long awkward pause) Operator: Sir? Are you still there? Man: I'm gonna drag him over to Pine street and call you back. ♥ Two ole cowboys talking: "All I'm saying Slim is that the difference between humans & animals, is that animals would never allow the dumbest of the herd to lead them."


Funny..funnny

Once you've seen a woman take off her bra without removing her shirt, it makes more sense why they should be in charge of things. 3 "Siri, why am I so bad at relationships with women?" ... "This is Alexa." 3 Having a teenage daughter is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses when you try and be nice to it.
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small Terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested let me know and I'll jump over my neighbor's fence and get it for you.


Oops!

Wife: I have blisters on my hands from the broom. ,Husband: Next time take the car silly. Then the fight started.