My brother is home now. My sister stopped to see him the other day she says he looks good. 
. I hate to think of that sad day when I start losing my brothers and my sisters, but I know it is closer then I would like, so I am going to do the only thing I can. I am going to enjoy them while they are here and try not to fight with them. If I make a lot of good memories now maybe I will have something to hold onto when they are gone. I think a lot about death these days. The other day I was browsing tombstones for me. I have thought about buying my stone myself while I am alive others have, but I would hate to go to my family plot and see my grave stone there when I was not. Several of my relatives put their stones up before they died but I really do not want to do that. The mere fact I was looking tells me I may be coming to grips with the fact we all die. I like to tell people if I live to be 100 and am remembered 50 years after my death I will think I had a good life.
I am not looking for immortality. I think it was put best on a TV show I watched one time an immortal character said about what torture it was to watch everyone you ever knew and loved grow old and die around you and you had to go on without them. I AGREE my family and I may not always see eye to eye but I am not sure I would want to go on if they were all gone. We just buried my last living uncle this past summer. Now I have no aunts or uncles left. He was luckier then me he had his kids (well they are all over age 50 now) to be with him. I have no children. I want to think my niece will be there for me when I am old, but there is no guarantee he has her own family and her own life and her own parents. I think some day I may die a lonely old woman. BUT THOSE WORRIES ARE FOR THE FUTURE TIME.
Right now I still have all my brothers and sisters one brother in law and 2 sisters in law along with 6 nieces and nephews and 10 great nieces and nephews. I also have a few very special friends. One of my friends was so kind to me that she stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital the first time in October. Her husband runs errors for me and will not take any money for doing it. Their youngest daughter is so much like me in personality she could have been my daughter. lol We were out together one time my neighbor her daughter and me and someone thought I was my neighbors mother. lol We laughed. Friends like this are rare and hard to find and if you do find them you should treat them like the great treasure they are.
