Today I had a close call and I actually thought I was going to die. I live alone, and sometimes that is a bad thing. Today I was eating some noodles that were not cooked properly, and one of them tried to get to my throat before I was done chewing it. It wedged across my throat so I could not get it down or up, and it was blocking my air way. I had a hard time getting it out of my throat , because there was no one here to help me. It panicking because I could not breath was not bad enough, just as I started to choke my phone started to ring. I managed to dislodge most of the noodle and grab the phone but I was still trying to get the rest of it out of my throat it had gotten lodged in the back of my nasal passage, and I could still fill it. It took me several minutes before I was breathing freely again.
When I got it all out and felt safe again I wondered if anyone would miss me if I suddenly was not here without a reason. I think most people like me, but would anyone really miss me if I was gone? Most of my own family have become so wrapped up in other things that I rarely see them anymore except at the Christmas gathering. Most of us that are still alive come together once a year. I can not help but think about last year. We had lost both my brother and his wife last year, and the gathering went on just like nothing had happened. I do not know how their sons did it. The year my mom died I was not in a very Merry mood at Christmas. There are times I really wonder if anyone would even notice if I died today. That is my biggest fear that I will someday die and no one will even notice and my body will lay here and rot. I did not have that fear till the mid 1990's when it actually happened to a guy in my neighborhood. He lived alone and he died and no one noticed till the flies started covering his living room window and the smell started to escape his house. The poor man had died in his living room and no one missed him. They say he had been dead long enough his body had exploded from the decomposition. A short time after that someone set that house on fire. I do not know if they were trying to cleans it with fire or what, but I could not help think it could be me. I live alone too, and weeks can go by without any of my family calling me to see if I am ok. So I wonder a lot if anyone would miss me if I were dead.
