I hate days like this. I did not sleep well last night. The
dang post man put my package on my porch even though I had a sign in the
window saying not to do it. One of the tds was having probs signing
into their lg id, another person on my list is talking suicide. My
allergies are making me nuts with the itching in my eyes. I have had
an upset stomach most of the evening. When I came in to play at
midnight I got hit with a very confusing im, and then the person signed
out right after sending it. There is nothing like having someone mad
at you and having no clue why. It makes you not know if you want to
punch a wall or sit down and cry. As if that was not annoying enough 4
family members are ill, and I found out last night there is a
possibility the polio vaccine i got in the late 1950's may have been
contaminated with something called SV-40 and SV-40 has been proven to
cause cancer. I am going to ask the doctor to check and see if I got
it. My brother who died a couple years ago of cancer may have been
exposed to it. He had one of the cancers tracked to the SV-40 virus in
the polio vaccine between 1955 and 1963. What sucks is the drug
company knew this would cause cancer and did not pull it off the market.
My family has a lot of cancer it does not need a drug that was meant
to keep kids from being cripples to cause cancer later in life. I
think once a drug is proven to cause cancer it should be removed from
the distribution immediately.
Have you ever noticed when
something goes bad more things will go bad like a snow ball rolling down
a hill? Have you ever had someone you were trying to help turn on you
without warning? Have you ever wondered why some families seem to
attract bad things? Please forgive me for wondering in my thoughts.
That happens when I have too many things on my mind at one time. They
fight to see which ones can get to the top first and my mind wonders .
jane_and.the_dragon
Connesso:
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are.
ht
Ultima partita
MENTAL CRUTCHES
I have a special needs friend that really annoyed me this morning. It annoys me when someone who really has a disability or a handicap uses it to manipulate people into giving them every thing they want or into doing things for them they could actually do for themselves. It makes it harder on people who really need the help to get it if you have dealt with people who were playing on their disability to get you to do what they want or just because they are too lazy to try. My friend does have special needs, but I have seen how truly smart he can be when it is something that interests him, but if it is something he does not want to do it is always I can't so that. Today he was telling me he could not find his gloves, and he tried to say it was because of something his mother did with them. I was like wooooooooooo why is your mom minding your gloves. I told him when you take them off PUT THEM IN YOUR COAT POCKETS! Then you will always know where they are when you want them next. It is one thing when it comes to something one is really not capable of doing, but a 6 year old can learn to put their gloves in their coat pockets so they can find them when they want them. Then he said he had a nice pair of sports gloves and the dog chewed them up. To which I said again not the dogs fault. You left them where the dog could get them. Dogs chew things. I told him had they been in your coat pocket and the coat hung up the dog would not have been able to get them.
I totally realize there are many things special needs people really can not do, and I am fine with helping with those things, but I am done enabling someone with special needs to use their disability as a mental crutch to keep them from doing things they are capable of doing. We only get one life whether it is the life of a king with good health or the life of a pauper with no limbs, our life is our life and it is up to each of us to make it the best life we can. We have no right to make others feel sorry for us because we have issues, we need to work around those issues.
I feel I can say this because I myself have panic attacks and agoraphobia. The panic attacks are hereditary. I got them from my father, but the agoraphobia I brought on myself. I did not know it at the time, but I do now. I am working on the agoraphobia, because I realized it was my mental crutch. I used to be great at making excuses when I did not want to do something, but a long talk with my dad before he died gave me much light on that. My dad had the panic attacks, but even with them he worked every day he could till his physical health got too bad for him to continue. He told me you will have to do a lot of things in this world you do not want to to survive. I have thought about that many times over the years, and as I get older I realize I have lost most of the good years of my youth and adulthood. If I am going to make those precious years I have left better then the middle of it I need to make some serious changes and fast.
I am worried about my friend. He depends on his parents to do so many of the things for him he could actually do for himself. I am worried when they are gone he will not have a clue how to take care of himself. That would be really sad, because he is really high functioning, but he is using mental crutches to get what he wants and someday the people that are doing the things for him now will not be there to do them. I am worried he will not reach his full potential. He is always talking about things he wanted to do with his life and really can not instead of looking at the things he could do and do well. I have seen him when he is focused on something that interests him, and I know he can do far more then he pretend. There was one 6 month period I was so proud of him the way he was functioning you would not know he had any problems. Then something happened and it all went away. It was like a switch flipped in his head and his personality changed. I wish someone could figure out what changed and flip that switch back.
I told him there are people out there far worse off then you doing for more with their lives. It was that realization that made me start changing things in my life, and I really hope he sees it too before it is too late. I saw this little child that did not have any arms fearlessly jump into a pool and swim like a fish. Another child had no legs and she swam too. I have both my arms and lets and I have never been able to master swimming, because I allow my fear to stop me. Everyone who allows mental crutches to stop them from doing things they really want to do or things they should be doing need to throw the mental crutches away and learn to walk in what ever way their disability allows them. If you can not do things one way we should all figure out another way to do it, and not sink into a pool of self pity.
Just today I received a packet from the handicapped artiest. For those of you who never heard of them it is an organization that takes paintings painted by people who can not use their hands to do them. They use their feet or their mouths to make the paintings. Then this organization puts the paintings on cards to sell for the benefit of people who can not use their arms ore have none. This is a case of people with a disability not letting it drown them in a pool of self pity. No mental crutches there. We should all try to be like them.
I totally realize there are many things special needs people really can not do, and I am fine with helping with those things, but I am done enabling someone with special needs to use their disability as a mental crutch to keep them from doing things they are capable of doing. We only get one life whether it is the life of a king with good health or the life of a pauper with no limbs, our life is our life and it is up to each of us to make it the best life we can. We have no right to make others feel sorry for us because we have issues, we need to work around those issues.
I feel I can say this because I myself have panic attacks and agoraphobia. The panic attacks are hereditary. I got them from my father, but the agoraphobia I brought on myself. I did not know it at the time, but I do now. I am working on the agoraphobia, because I realized it was my mental crutch. I used to be great at making excuses when I did not want to do something, but a long talk with my dad before he died gave me much light on that. My dad had the panic attacks, but even with them he worked every day he could till his physical health got too bad for him to continue. He told me you will have to do a lot of things in this world you do not want to to survive. I have thought about that many times over the years, and as I get older I realize I have lost most of the good years of my youth and adulthood. If I am going to make those precious years I have left better then the middle of it I need to make some serious changes and fast.
I am worried about my friend. He depends on his parents to do so many of the things for him he could actually do for himself. I am worried when they are gone he will not have a clue how to take care of himself. That would be really sad, because he is really high functioning, but he is using mental crutches to get what he wants and someday the people that are doing the things for him now will not be there to do them. I am worried he will not reach his full potential. He is always talking about things he wanted to do with his life and really can not instead of looking at the things he could do and do well. I have seen him when he is focused on something that interests him, and I know he can do far more then he pretend. There was one 6 month period I was so proud of him the way he was functioning you would not know he had any problems. Then something happened and it all went away. It was like a switch flipped in his head and his personality changed. I wish someone could figure out what changed and flip that switch back.
I told him there are people out there far worse off then you doing for more with their lives. It was that realization that made me start changing things in my life, and I really hope he sees it too before it is too late. I saw this little child that did not have any arms fearlessly jump into a pool and swim like a fish. Another child had no legs and she swam too. I have both my arms and lets and I have never been able to master swimming, because I allow my fear to stop me. Everyone who allows mental crutches to stop them from doing things they really want to do or things they should be doing need to throw the mental crutches away and learn to walk in what ever way their disability allows them. If you can not do things one way we should all figure out another way to do it, and not sink into a pool of self pity.
Just today I received a packet from the handicapped artiest. For those of you who never heard of them it is an organization that takes paintings painted by people who can not use their hands to do them. They use their feet or their mouths to make the paintings. Then this organization puts the paintings on cards to sell for the benefit of people who can not use their arms ore have none. This is a case of people with a disability not letting it drown them in a pool of self pity. No mental crutches there. We should all try to be like them.
FRIENDS
Have you ever really thought about what makes some friendships last and others fade away into the realm of forgotten memories? Most people see friends as someone who is there for them when they need them and that is certainly an important part of friendship, but that is not all. If you only keep a friend because doing so benefits you then it is not a true friendship, and you are just using your so called friend. Real friendship goes much deeper and will withstand bad times as well as flourish in the good times. I have 3 different kinds of friends I want to talk about today. First is my oldest and dearest friend she and I have been friends sense first grade. Our friendship has lasted through school changes and location changes. She has always been someone I know will accept me just as I am. We do not talk often these days but when we do talk we talk long.
Then I have the friends I can count on when I am at my weakest when I need someone to help hold me together when I am falling apart. I have been truly blessed in this area. I have a few friends that are awesome. I do not know what I ever did to deserve such wonderful friends, but I thank the lord for giving them to me.
Then there are the friends that the relationship has not always ran smooth, but when all was said and done we worked through it to remain standing together. It is one such friend I want to talk about today. I first met her in 2007 in of all places an on line pool league. We became friends pretty fast, then she got involved with some people that caused her to make some bad choices, and we had a big fight that lasted about 6 months, I did not even want to talk to her, but one day she showed up in a room I was playing in and told me she was sorry and asked me to forgive her. I was still mad but fact is I did miss her too, so I told her that I could forgive her if she did 2 things to prove she was sorry. She did both things I asked her to and we have not fought again sense that. It meant very much to me that she valued my friendship to do the 2 things I asked her to do. The one thing had to have been hard for her, but it had to be done if I was to allow any myself to forgive her. When a friend values you enough to do what you need them to do to forgive them, this is a true friend and someone you should keep. We came to some agreements and our friendship is stronger now then it ever was.
I find it funny that there is someone trying to turn her against me again. It is not going to work!! I know I can trust her to not believe any lies anyone tells her on me .
That was one of the things she and I agreed to when we rebuilt our friendship, neither of us would lie about anything we really did if the other asks us about it. We have held that solid and strong, and as a result our friendship is built high on a rock foundation.
I wish I had this strong a friendship with all those I once called friend. Fact is one year ago next month someone I cared very much about turned her back on me, and I have to admit it was my fault she got angry at me, but a real friend would not have shut me out. I have had a couple people I am still friends with cuss me out a few times. lol But when we are done fighting the friendship is still there. It is as I told one of my friends years ago when she was trying to change another friend of outs. I knew it was not possible this guy has an iron will back then. I told her you either accept your friends how they are or you go find new friends. Apparently the friend I lost a year ago could not accept me as I am.
I know only too well I am not the easiest person to get along with sometimes, but my real friends the ones I know love me and the ones I know I can count on may get mad and yell at me when I am worked up will not turn their back on me.
Everyone needs friends. The trick is to choose friends that will accept you as you are and to make sure you do not try to change them, or drop them for being themselves. Bottom line friendship is a 2 way street.
Then I have the friends I can count on when I am at my weakest when I need someone to help hold me together when I am falling apart. I have been truly blessed in this area. I have a few friends that are awesome. I do not know what I ever did to deserve such wonderful friends, but I thank the lord for giving them to me.
Then there are the friends that the relationship has not always ran smooth, but when all was said and done we worked through it to remain standing together. It is one such friend I want to talk about today. I first met her in 2007 in of all places an on line pool league. We became friends pretty fast, then she got involved with some people that caused her to make some bad choices, and we had a big fight that lasted about 6 months, I did not even want to talk to her, but one day she showed up in a room I was playing in and told me she was sorry and asked me to forgive her. I was still mad but fact is I did miss her too, so I told her that I could forgive her if she did 2 things to prove she was sorry. She did both things I asked her to and we have not fought again sense that. It meant very much to me that she valued my friendship to do the 2 things I asked her to do. The one thing had to have been hard for her, but it had to be done if I was to allow any myself to forgive her. When a friend values you enough to do what you need them to do to forgive them, this is a true friend and someone you should keep. We came to some agreements and our friendship is stronger now then it ever was.
I find it funny that there is someone trying to turn her against me again. It is not going to work!! I know I can trust her to not believe any lies anyone tells her on me .
That was one of the things she and I agreed to when we rebuilt our friendship, neither of us would lie about anything we really did if the other asks us about it. We have held that solid and strong, and as a result our friendship is built high on a rock foundation. I wish I had this strong a friendship with all those I once called friend. Fact is one year ago next month someone I cared very much about turned her back on me, and I have to admit it was my fault she got angry at me, but a real friend would not have shut me out. I have had a couple people I am still friends with cuss me out a few times. lol But when we are done fighting the friendship is still there. It is as I told one of my friends years ago when she was trying to change another friend of outs. I knew it was not possible this guy has an iron will back then. I told her you either accept your friends how they are or you go find new friends. Apparently the friend I lost a year ago could not accept me as I am.
I know only too well I am not the easiest person to get along with sometimes, but my real friends the ones I know love me and the ones I know I can count on may get mad and yell at me when I am worked up will not turn their back on me.
Everyone needs friends. The trick is to choose friends that will accept you as you are and to make sure you do not try to change them, or drop them for being themselves. Bottom line friendship is a 2 way street.
WHAT IS SADDER?
What is sadder in today"s world, someone who is desperate to be somewhere they are not wanted? Or the fact it is their own fault they are not wanted there? I myself have been in that spot before, but comes a time one must accept that is how it is, and nothing you can do to change it. What is even sadder is when someone does not accept they themselves are the only one to blame for you being pushed to the side. The ironic thing is when instead of trying to make what you did wrong, you continue to do the same kind of things that gout you in that spot in the first place.
If someone did not want you around for something you did in the past why would you think they would want you around when you try to bully your way into the group. All that will do is get them even more set against you,and when those who would have accepted you see you bulling their friends they too will turn against you. It is not about proving you can have anything you want. It is about being wanted where you are. Do you actually think if you gather up a big bunch of mud and throw on someone they will want you around them more?
If someone did not want you around for something you did in the past why would you think they would want you around when you try to bully your way into the group. All that will do is get them even more set against you,and when those who would have accepted you see you bulling their friends they too will turn against you. It is not about proving you can have anything you want. It is about being wanted where you are. Do you actually think if you gather up a big bunch of mud and throw on someone they will want you around them more?
COLD WINTER
I like many others who have not caught that flu have been busy lately. I have a friend who got stuck working 3 shifts back to back because the replacement could not get in to work with this weather. This winter's weather has hit everyone hard and then you add the flu and the bronchitis outbreaks it s amazing things are still functioning. There is a bright side though it is Feb 7. Two more months of this at most and the weather will get better the flowers will bloom, and people will not be trapped inside with all the germs. I know I can not wait. I am allergic to several flowers, but the stuffy head will beat the shivering from the cold any day. When it is cloudy like it was today all I really want to do is sleep. 
But if I do sleep too much I feel like I am wasting what life I have left. I will be 60 on March 3, and the loss of my brother 2 years ago has made me ever present of the fact we are not assured we will even have a tomorrow, so we should not waist one minute of today. I try not to think about the fact my brother was only 10 years older then me, because we have sisters who are 4 and 6 years older then he was, and they are still with us.
We should all find joy where and when we can, because you may not get another chance at it again. Every day is a gift and we should always use it in the best way.
But if I do sleep too much I feel like I am wasting what life I have left. I will be 60 on March 3, and the loss of my brother 2 years ago has made me ever present of the fact we are not assured we will even have a tomorrow, so we should not waist one minute of today. I try not to think about the fact my brother was only 10 years older then me, because we have sisters who are 4 and 6 years older then he was, and they are still with us. We should all find joy where and when we can, because you may not get another chance at it again. Every day is a gift and we should always use it in the best way.
