jane_and.the_dragon

Connesso: 15/04/2014

Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht

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Pool 8 - 2009

Pool 8 - 2009
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THERE IS A FIRST FOR EVERYTHING

15/01/2019

I AM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. I AM DEDICATING THIS WHOLE BLOG TO ANSWERING THE OPINIONS OF SOMEONE WHO HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS. The rest of you may want to just skip this blog. It is not really informative or thought provoking instead it is just a reply to a comment on my previous blog, so those of you who like my blogs please forgive this diversion,

ROTFLMFAO ok now you have jest stepped into the realm of ridiculous and delusional. First no one told you not to address abuse or any subject you wish so I got no clue where you got that line about not expecting you to address it. Second I suggest you get your eyes checked, because the name Jane is in my id so I got no clue where you came up with the June, Joe, Jim thing. But if it was a feeble attempt to get back at me for calling you yeller lol swing I have been called worse so and miss next attempt. Third: If my blog makes you want to vomit why do you keep reading it? When something makes me that sick I learn to leave it alone. Forth: The remark about me not being able to sit down for a week is an exaggerated me metaphor from my area of the country it is not a littoral description, But you may know that if you had not abandoned the usa for Germany. I find it amazing you think you know so much but you have no clue what creative license is or how it is used to make a point. And you do not want to lose your social security from a country you clearly hate. That is very interesting you condemn this country saying all the great things Germany has over the USA but yet you hold onto a program from the USA the very place you so clearly hate. It would seem to me when someone hates a place like you hate the USA you would not want anything from it. Hummmm so you have raised your daughters there too interesting. That shows me that you have been there a long time and that you are clearly out of touch with the country you were born in and from which you collect your social security. Wow you really do hate the USA could that be because you blame the whole country because you were abused here? As to your daughters getting a better education in Germany the education is not just based on whatever school one attends it is also based on a student’s ability and willingness to learn. I also find it interesting you say you are glad your daughters were raised there. Why? Are you afraid if you had stayed here you would have copied the actions of those that abused you? IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! Proximity to a location where and event happened does not mandate reproduction of the event.

I find it totally ironic you think your daughters are 100% save in German and are not in danger of being shot there. Considering Germany started a world war and played a big part in another. Germans are not the model of peace and intellectual greatness you paint them to be. I can say this because even though I am American born and bred, I have German blood in me from both sides of my family. Now you tell me if Germany was the great place you keep saying it is, why would so many people from Germany have immigrated to the USA and like you NEVER went back to their home land. Something you failed to mention: German cops shot dead 14 people in 2017. I will give you that the deaths from shootings in Germany may be less than that of the USA, but to say there is no danger of getting shot in Germany is ridiculous. And did it ever occur to you that even though the USA is quite a bit larger than Germany, Germany has more police officers. It is not hard to keep crime down if you have enough officers to post them everywhere. When you start comparing the safety of the USA to the safety of Germany you may want to do a police per population ratio first. More people usually means more crime, but you would know that if you were as smart as you pretend, or do the German schools not teach ratios per capita there? As to the statement America has more people in jail than any other country again we fall back to the population per country ratio. Anywhere you have more people there are bound to be more people in each group. I bet if you had actually looked you would find we also have more people out of jail then most countries too.

As to your immigrant remark, I could care less if people immigrate to this country LEAGLY. If they fill out the proper paper work and come into this country the correct way I would welcome them with open arms, BUT IF THEY ARE HERE ILLEAGLY then no I do not want them here. They work illegally for less than minimums wage taking jobs away from people that were born here, and many times they can get welfare and food stamps that taps into our funds for our people. My thoughts are if they cannot fill out the proper paper work and come into this country legally they do not need to be here. WOOOOOOOOOOOO WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CALLING RACIST? You who are against all Americans. You who have looked down on the USA with everything you wrote. You who thinks you ar3e better than anyone in the USA even though you are drawing your social security from here. You are one of the most predgidous haughty people I have ever heard from. Where do you get off calling us a racist country? Know what you realllllly do belong in Germany in fact you should have been born there. You have a lot in common with one of their most powerful leaders of the 20^th century he hated his country of birth too.

You really need to brush up on your American history ALL the native Americans were not killed I know that for a fact because I have Sioux Indian blood in my on my mom’s side so the mere fact I have their blood in me and I live today proves you lie when you say whites killed all the Indians.

I am still failing to see why you are hanging on to your social security payments to tight instead of giving up your US citizenship if you are doing so well health wise freeloading off the Germans. Cause if you really think all that is free you really are delusional the German government pays for it.

Oh and ps: The fact you would make an assumption like that shows your own true ignorance. I am not here to teach grammar like you. I am here to get my thoughts out, and like I said earlier if my blogs make you want to vomit please feel free to not read them. You have already had enough excretions from you on these pages. We do not need any vomit to mix with it.

ADULT ABUSE BY CHILDREN

13/01/2019

The comment on my last blog has prompted me to write this. It was assumed that 1 swat on the butt to a child who has not responded to every other means an adult has tried to correct an inappropriate behavior is abuse. I do not agree when it is only 1 swat with a hand it is not abuse.

Now lets talk about something no one everrrrrrrrrr talks about children who abuse adults and get away with it because the adults are too frightened to make it stop. The comment on the last blog stated that children that live with violence are taught violence. That is only partly true. Most children have a tendency to hit at a young age even if the parents do not. It is up to the parents to teach the children what is right or wrong in the world so they can fit in with others. I am going to tell you some true stories about abusive children and the people that had to live with them.

Let's start with this little boy I knew. He was 3 years old when I first noticed the fits of anger he would have. One day he shoved the tv( and they were bigger and heavier back then) off the stand onto the floor because he did not get his own way. Those parents NEVER spanked him so no way did he learn it from him as the comment alleges . When he would get angry he would throw things and hit his sister for no reason. I even saw him hit his elderly grandmother one time, and still she did not strike back she just walked away from him. As a result of getting away with such behavior he continued to do it for years after.

Then there is the one about the 13 year old girl who got angry one day and shoved her mother so hard against a car door mirror she injured her back, but she got away with it neither parent did anything to her about it. Same girl got into an argument with her sister and actually made her sister bleed. I know this because her sister called me crying she told me her mother was going to blame her. I asked her if she hit her sister first she said no I said then your mom will not blame you. BOY WAS I WRONG. The mother did blame the sister who was bleeding. I said to the mother are you insane. Not only did she not punish the sister that bloodied her sister, but she blamed the victim. This family was not violent in fact the parents were deacon and deaconess of their church. So no one will ever convince me only kids that were abused will become abusers.

Now let's talk about the little girl who's parents let her do what ever she wanted. She was only 12 when she shot another child from the neighborhood in the arm with a bee bee gun. Do you not think she needed discipline?

The thing to remember is there is a line between disciplining your child and abusing it. OOOO and the word discipline means to teach although many think it means punishment.

Bottom line is kids need to learn actions have consequences. If you can not get through to a child by time outs, groundings, taking away their devices, or more chores sometimes it is necessary to take a more direct approach. I would also like to make this clear I am in no way advocating slapping your kids in the face just because they get on your nerves. Kids getting on their parent's nerves is all a part of parenting. When they do the parent should take a time out for themselves, maybe soak in a nice warm bath for a while. The majority of patent violence to kids is born out of frustration. If you take a little time to calm yourself down before you deal with the issue spankings may not be necessary, but you do need to maintain control of your children until they understand how to behave.

THE TEACHABLE MOMENT

13/01/2019

We have all heard the expression the teachable moment. I think we should all look for the teachable moment. A time when one can get and idea, or concept, or point of view clear to someone else. The problem is so many people really do not know how to teach when they find themselves presented with a teachable moment. I saw this video a couple days ago that I can not get out of my mind. This was the perfect example of a teachable moment and a father that knew how to make the most of it. Some said he was wrong and, mean for teaching his daughter a good lesson a hard way. His daughter had been kicked off the school bus 3 times that year, and the father decided to make his point to his daughter that bullying would not be permitted, and she would not get away with it. He made his little girl walk the 5 miles to her school in cold weather carrying her back pack. He followed behind her to make sure she was safe.

This was not a mean father. If that had been me I would not have been sitting down for a week cause my mom would have lit me up. My mom told me the first day of school she did not want to hear of me fighting. If I was big enough to go to school I was too big to fight, and if I got in trouble at school I would be in more when I got home. That may sound mean too, but my mom did not paddle us much, and we always knew it was coming. If she yelled at us and called up by all 3 names we knew we better quit what ever we were doing right then, because if we did not the next thing would be mom picking us up and spanking us. If we stopped when or before she called all 3 names she did not spank us.

Back to the point. I see nothing at all wrong with that father making his daughter walk to school, because she is the one that misbehaved and got kicked off the bus 3 times that year. He was teaching her if you lose your transportation because you broke the rules you still had to meet your responsibilities ie school. If he had driven her to school he would not be teaching her to obey the rules. She would be teaching him she could do as she wanted and did not have to follow the rules and would have no penalty to pay for her behavior. What none of those that criticized the father for his choice of punishment fail to realize is, after she has to walk to school a few times maybe she will not be so eager to break the bus rules again. As to it being 5 miles in the cold, ARE YOU SERIOUS? My grandparents walked to school every school day sun or cold or rain, and no one complained, or thought their parents mean for making them go to school. My great grand parents did not trail along behind to make sure they were safe. And the winters were colder back then. In those days girls were forced to ware dresses to school no matter the weather. I know because that dress code was still in effect when I was in grade school. When I was in 9th grade I had to walk a mile every day just to get to the bus stop. Then I stood there in the open along side the road for up to a half an hour waiting on the bus to pick me up and take me another 10 miles to the high school where I would transfer buses and take another one to the jr high.

You want to know what I see when I hear people saying how mean this father was to make her walk to school when she herself got kicked off the bus by her actions? I see that we are raising a weak, privileged, selfish, disobedient, younger generation. We are not teaching them their actions have consequences. They do not respect anyone not even authority figures. They think the world revolves around them and no one else's feelings matter.

The stupidest thing they ever did was when they passed laws that parents could not spank their children, AND NO I am not saying beat your kids till they are black and blue or break bones or leave welts. I am saying a swat or 2 on the butt when you have a child who does not do as the authority figures tell them is not a bad thing, and that father did not spank his daughter he just made her bare the events her bullying caused. This was a wise father who will most likely have a daughter he can be proud of when she grows up, because he is teaching her to be responsible for her own actions.

Let me tell you about another little girl she was just 6 years old and no matter how many times her teacher told her and the little girls best friend not to talk in class they disobeyed her. The poor teacher tried moving their desks to different sides of the room even that did not stop them from talking in class. Finally the frustrated teacher called the girls parents. She told one mother I do not what I am going to do with them. I can not get the to stop talking in class. The mother said I do not know what you are going to do with the other girl, but you have to show mine you mean business. The next time the teacher told the girls to be quiet and they did not do it, she swatted each of them 1 swat on their butts (BACK THEN TEACHERS COULD DO THAT IF THE PARENTS SAID OK) , and she made them both stand in corners facing the wall for a period of time. It was after the second time she spanked them and sent them to the corner that the problem was solved. While they were in the corner the teacher called the one girls reading group for the reading lesson. The girl did not know what to do she peeked from behind the class room door ( she was in the corner behind the door) and asked her teacher softly what she should do that was her group. The teacher told her if she was going to behave she could join the group. The girls stopped disrupting that class that very day, and no teacher ever had a problem with them again. All because someone cared enough to teach them the proper way to act in school. This story is true I know because I was the little girl that nearly missed her reading lesson because I did not respect authority. From that point on I always respected authority, and NEARLY all the teachers loved me. No one can please everyone. There will always be someone who hates you for no fault of your own.

I really think we need to look for the teachable moments and learn how to teach the children to be good citizens.

Sure there are some children that are actually abused and need protection from people they care about, but I do not believe there are as many as the media would have you believe. It is the ones that are publicized that make people think there are more then their is, and that allow children to run amuck. Parents are afraid to correct their own children, but children are allowed to abuse their parents. How is that going to make this world better. Parents must teach their children when they are young how to behave when they are grown, and if you do it right it is a hard job.

My sister used to get so frustrated with her daughters. They would play their parents against each other all the time. Their mom would tell them one thing their dad would change it. My sister came up with a teachable moment. When the kids would ask if they were allowed to do something my sister started telling them they had to ask their dad ,because no matter what she told them they would get him to change it. Back then no one had cell phones so many times the kids could not get in touch with their dad to ask permission so they missed out on many parties and special events.

One day my sister told me she thought her daughters hated her. I laughed and told her they were teens and no matter what she did at this stage of the kids lives it would not be right in their eyes, but if she did her job right when they grew up they would be adults of which she could be proud, and I was right. All 3 of them are fine respectable adults, and we are all very proud of them.

MISCONCEPTION

10/01/2019

I just came across something interesting that I bet some of you did not know and if I ever knew it I have forgotten over the years. With President`s day only about a month away I was going to use a quote for which Lincoln was well know for . We have all heard A house divided against itself can not stand, but how many of you know the original version of that came from Mark 3:25 in the Bible. It says And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Which goes to show the wisest things were said long ago and are still being quoted.

DID YOU EVER

10/01/2019

Did you ever have a day when everything went so wrong all you really want is someone to pat you on the head of give you a hug and tell you everything will be ok tomorrow? I have had 3 of those kind of days in a row, and the stupid part is it did not have to be like that. It all started as a stupid misunderstanding 3 days ago that snow balled and as it went down hill it not only picked up more snow it also picked up some twigs and other dirt along the way so by the time it landed on me yesterday afternoon it hurt way worse the just snow. I can see how I was misunderstood. Hell anyone that has ever read one of my blogs knows I am not always the easiest person to understand. I know that. I do not mean to be that way it is just how my messed up brain works, but yesterday afternoon I crashed. It is stupid how something so little and not meant to harm can cause so much turmoil in a messed up brain like mine.

My mind does not work like most people's. Most people can compartmentalize their thoughts like past present and future all stored in different parts of your brains. My brain is not like that. Every memory in my brain touches another and some of the connections would seem random to someone looking in from the out side, but they make sense in my head. I remember one time I was talking to my nephew and he said something to me I do not remember what he said but it touched on a chain of memories that connected to something I needed to tell him. When he said what ever it was I said OH that reminds me I need to tell you and then I told him what I needed to tell him. He looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and he said How did what I just said remind you of that? So I lead him step by step down the thought chain that connected the two in my head. I told him when he said that it reminded me of this that reminded me of and I went down each link one at a time for him till I had completed the connection. When I was finished he looked at me and shook his head and said I wish I had not asked. I just laughed. I know my brain does not work like the majority of the people in the world, and I have learned to live with it. I know that sometimes the way my mind works annoys people, and i am sorry about that, but those that really love me understand I am a little different and they do not let my quarks bother them. That is how you tell real friends. I real friend will allow you to be whoever you are and not hold the stupid things you do against you. When someone holds something you can not change against you they are not your real friend and never were.

I have a friend who's brain also does not work like other people's brain does. I will admit sometimes I see a lot of the old me in him. The difference is with a lot of hard work I have changed some of my issues, but because of physical issues that change may not be possible for him. So occasionally I get upset with him, but there is nothing on this planet that would make me ever turn my back on him. I may yell at him some times and when I do he usually laughs at me, but if I did not care so much I would not worry about it when he does things that would be a bad idea, and I would not try to stop him. :) he accepts me the way I am and I accept him.

I am sorry I went off on a different road from the main idea of this blog. I do that a lot when my anxiety or insecurities are acting up like they have been for the past 3 days. Wish my friend Debbie was still with us she had a way of getting me calmed down when I was like this. They have a lot of mental problems in her family so she knew how to deal with people when they went a little nuts. She passed away last year and I miss her very much. In many ways she was like a mother to me when I was having emotional problems. Good friends are a blessing and we should always tell them how much we love and need them while we still have them.