orange_sadona

     Late Saturday night I had to call my niece to take me to the er.  My pulse was bouncing between 132 and 154,  It only took a couple hrs for them to decide to put me in the hospital.  I was hoping to get out the next day, but I did not, I never got out till Tuesday. As a result of being in the hospital and having a large wall as a view from my room, I missed the firework display Sunday night.   The irony of this is if the wall had not been there I would have had a great view of the display from my bed in the hospital.  It is so hard to sleep in the hospital. I had a blood pressure cup on one arm and 2 ivs with 3 drips on the other arm. and at least 3 times while I was in there they drew blood. One morning they woke me at 5 am to draw blood and could not find the vain so left without it only to have another girl come in 2 hrs later to try it again. I sleep on my side normally and that is not easy with both arms hooked to things.   Monday morning the one iv ran out and the alarm on it went off right by my head. That will wake you up fast!   They finally got my heart rate down to a reasonable level and let me come home. lol I should not laugh but we got a heat wave headed my way and I do not have an air conditioner, so it may not have been all bad had they kept me a few more days in the air conditioned hospital lol . They had to send me home though, because the cardiac wing of that hospital is nearly always full, and I am sure there were people that needed their attention more then me once they got my heart rate lowered.
     I was quite disappointed when my cardiologist came in to see me and told me there is not much they can do for me till we see if we can get rid of the blood clot and have the ablation, because they had exhausted every other avenue.   I want to live to be 100 and at this rate I may not make it.
     Ok let's put all this depressing stuff away and let me take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY 4TH OF JULY.

     They took the staples out today.  It did not hurt at all, but now there is a little fold in my skin where they used to be.  I am hoping it will flatten back out in time.  If not I may have to talk to them about it I do not like the idea of having a fold in my chest skin.  I was showing my neighbor. She said it looked like I could put a coin in it. She is not wrong. lol I will just wait and see if it flattens out or not.  At least I am not as depressed as I was.  We ran into a detour on the way to the doctor. My brother said it was a slum area. It was down near a steel mill. * shrugh  I got to see the coke piled up waiting to bu used to make steel. I had never seen it before so the trip was not a total loss.  I hate brides, but I got to thinking it may be fun to watch the tug boats pushing the barges around for a little while.

     I just had a thought.  I still got these staples in my chest for about another week , and that recorder in my chest for who knows how long.  I wonder if I will set off mettle detectors with them lol.

     Before they mentioned the ablation to me they had me set up to cardioversion 2 times and both times I went back into normal rhythm at the exact same hour of the night before, and they canceled it both times.   Turns out it may have been a good thing they did.  If they had shocked my heart back int rhythm it could have knocked the clot I did not even know I had loose and it may have caused a stroke.   I did not know I had a clot forming, but God did and prevented the shock to my heart that could have ended up killing me when the clot broke free.  So I am going to take a step back and a breath and trust that in time he will guide me onto the right path and I will be healed.

     I am home, and I feel worse then I did when I went to the hospital this morning at 4:30 am. After many attempts at trying to get an iv in before they actually got one in, And after all the prep for the procedural, they did not do the ablation.   Apparently when they did the test where they look down your throat to check the heart for blood clots, they found one and aborted the ablation.   They did in fact implant the loop monitor which I never really wanted in the first place. Only reason I agreed to it was it was supposed to give them more insight as to if the ablation worked.  News Flash It never happened so NO it did not work, and I could have old them that without the sore throat from the tube down my throat and the sore chest from the implanted loop.   They changed 2 of my meds, and I am to follow up in the office in 2 weeks with the doctor that was to do the ablation.
     I went there all hopeful for to get my life back and now I am really depressed.  People say think positive, so I did, and I was disappointed.  All the prayers and good wishes people said they were sending my way did nothing to make it all work out alright .   Id I had went into this thinking the worst would happen at least now I could be happy I did not die on the table instead of crying all day because it did not work.   If they decide to schedule another attempt at the actual ablation in the future, it will be harder to think positive again. I do not want to set myself up for another disappointment.  I wonder if I were to lock myself inside my house do I did not have to see happier, healthier people if it would help me get over the depression I am feeling right now.