jane_and.the_dragon

 
United States
ملحق شده: 2014-04-15
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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Points needed: 74
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1 سال 34 روز قبل

WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP

2019-01-07
42
5
     You ever have one of those nights that no matter how hard you try you just can't sleep.    Maybe it is because I got too much sleep today.   Maybe it is because I have many things on my mind all at once.   Maybe it is because I watched too many haunting shows before I tried to sleep.   Maybe it is the weather shifting back and forth from realllly cold to kinda warm.   Maybe it is the being alone all the time.   I do not know what is causing it.   All I do know for sure is it is 5:18 am and I am wide awake, and writing this instead of sleeping where I should be.
     Hear lately it is like my days and nights are all flipped upside down.   I am sleepy in the day and wide awake at night.   If anyone has any ideas on how to get to sleep when your mind is all over the place I would love to hear them.

AFTER THE TRIP TO MY BROTHERS

2018-12-25
38
4
     My Christmas eve with my brother's family was for the most part a big disappointment.   The meal was to be at 3 and it was after 3 when he picked me up, but meals do not always run on time.   When I got there the tv was on Doctor Phil.  Not really a Christmas thing , but I figured they must watch it a lot.   A short time after I got there my niece's ex husband and their 2 sons came in the youngest one was covered from the knees down with mud.   My sister in law made him go change his pants.  The salad was already on the table when I got there so I figured the rest of the meal would be soon.   The boys had not been in the house for even a half an hr before they climbed inside their ipods.   It was nearly 4 when the meal was ready.   My brother called for his daughter who was sleeping ( cause she works 2 jobs ) to come over to eat.   Three phone calls and nearly an hour later she showed up.   We were all getting hungry by the time she showed.   Her ex husband called it when she said she would be annoyed because she had to sit by him.
     The had a hard time betting my younger nephew to put his ipod up he was determined he would watch it while he ate.   His dad had to physically take the ipods from them to get him to stop watching it.   All thought it was easy to see where he got this from.   Both my brother and my sister in law were watching the tv on the wall behind me while we ate.   I know this because they made a couple comments on a show that was on it.   Then out of no where my niece started on her ex.   Apparently he had did something with his phone.  She was the only one that even noticed what ever he did.   She was like the boys can't have the i pod you should put your phone away.     After she finished eating she took her phone curled up on one end of the couch with it and never took her nose out of it till not long before she and her ex got in a fight and she decided she was leaving.
     Now picture this one of my nephews in the grandparents room with his ipod the other curled up on the couch with his ipod between his mom and dad both on their phones and ignoring everyone else in the room.   My brother and his wife on the other side of the room all sucked into the tv, and me sitting on the floor beside the couch basically staring at the walls, because everyone was too sucked into their devices to pay any attention to the fact they had invited me down.   I was not expecting a lot, but I was hoping for a little conversation or maybe we could play a game.   They used to play cards.  But I did not get any thing attention.   When my brother gave me my Christmas card YES it had money in it BUT he did not even bother to sign it or even put my name on the envelope.
     The fight my niece and her ex got into was so stupid and did not need to happen.   My brother said I can come down any time to just call and ask.   The whole time I am thinking What for?  so I can watch you all suck3ed into your devises.   If I want to be ignored I can do that quite well at home.   I was really looking forward to this trip it was the first time I have been there sense he remolded.  They did not even offer to give me the dime tour of what they changed.   I do not know if I will go if I am asked to go again, but IF I DO maybe I will take my tablet with me, and when they start playing on the phones ipods and get sucked into the tv I will start playing on my tablet.   I just wonder if they see me doing it too if it will make them see how stupid they look playing on them when they got company.   I seriously wanted to yell at them all. ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU CAN NOT GET YOUR NOSES OUT OF THE DAMN ELECTRONICS FOR A COUPLE HOURS TO VISIT WHEN YOU HAVE COMPANY?
     I am having lunch at my oldest nephews house tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it partly cause of today and partly cause there will be at least 4 people there I do not know.   I do not do well around people I do not know, and their kids are also ones that run around with their noses stuck in their phones.
     Something odd happened out of the blue mike asked me when I was going to have a meal at my house.   I just told him he was too young to remember why I WILL NEVER HAVE IT AT MY HOUSE AGAIN.   I have no clue why he asked that but if he was looking for a fight he did not get it from me.

CHRISTMAS EVE

2018-12-24
2
0
     Here we are at another Christmas eve.   In a couple hours I will be going to my brothers house for dinner.   When I got up this morning it was a great day.   The sun was shining.   I slept well.  The air was cold, but it looked beautiful out there.   Now as I set here waiting for the clothes I am washing to get done so i can dry them before I leave, I notice the clouds are thickening up.   I am beginning to wonder if I should ware the shoes I had originally planned to or if I should ware my new boots.   This will be the first time I have been to my brother's house sense he remodeled a couple years ago.   I have no clue what time I will come home, but I am hoping to make it before 8 wwe night you know.lol   Plus I am supposed to go to my nephews tomorrow so I would like to get home early enough I can wind down before I try to sleep.   I am really not liking the clouds that are coming in.   It is getting a lot darker out there now, and I do not do well in the clouds.   Why I do not do well with clouds is a longggggggggg story that I am not going into now.
     I really hope my great nephews are not too wound up.   You know how little boys are when Christmas gets near.   On a totally unrelated subject  I restrung my favorite bracelet on elastic cord and I think that was a mistake.  It keeps flipping over, and it is bugging me already.   I may be restringing it again when I get home tonight.
     I just realized something odd.   My sister called to wish me a Merry Christmas and she never said if she liked the picture I painted for her.   It took 2 years but I finally got it given to her.   The first time I tried was her birthday a year ago.   When my niece called to see if it was ok to come over, my sisters husband said we could not go EVEN THOUGH it was my sister's BIRTHDAY.   No one said he had to visit with us we were not planning on staying long anyhow.  I thought that was really mean, so when they stopped by to drop a couple things off for me the other day I gave it to her and told her if her husband had anything to say about it to tell him it was the present I tried to take her last year.
     If it seems like i am rambling I am.   I just found out last night that my nephews youngest uncle and his family will be at his house tomorrow.   I do not know his family or my nieces parents and they will be there too, so my anxiety is rising and when it does my thoughts run all over the place.
     Well anyhow HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY.   Be careful in your travels.

DID YOU EVER WANDER ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN NOT CHANGE?

2018-12-14
17
1
When you make a choice thinking it was the right thing to do at the time did you ever wonder if it may have been a mistake?   I do not make a habit of second guessing myself, but sometimes I can not help it.   Every day we are hit with dozens of choices, and we have no way of knowing at the time if they are good ones or bad ones. We go on any and all info we have from the past, and hope the choice will enhance the future.   Sometimes our choices prove to be great ones and everything works out well.   Other times what looks like a good choice on the surface turns out to be a bad one.   I have recently been wondering if a choice I made was the right one, and it is casting a shadow over another choice I will soon have to make.   My niece has invited me to their house for Christmas.   I really do not like the idea of being home alone for Christmas while everyone else is with family.   I told you all my other niece moved the family gathering to the day after Christmas, and I am kinda bugged by the gathering moved.    Part of me wants to go to my nieces very much for Christmas, but part of me is intimidated by the idea.   She lives very near to my late brothers house.   I admit I have not done well with the loss of my brother his wife and now my nephew in September.   Part of me says YES GO do not miss out on the chance to spend time with the nephew that is left and his family.   Part of me is scared to death because there will be people there I have never met.   My nieces parents will be there.   I have never met them before.    My niece assured me if I decided I wanted to go home someone would bring me, but I would feel bad about pulling someone away from their Christmas to bring me home.   I also worry I may end up crying being that close to where my brother lived and knowing him his wife and youngest son are not going to be here.   My other brother made a good point he kind of thinks I should go because this will be my oldest nephew's first year without all his original family.    I wish I knew what was best.

THE HOT AIR VENT

2018-12-13
12
0
    I was sitting here at the computer, and a memory from my childhood flashed in my mind.   When I was about 13 we lived in what was know as a company house in the day.   It was a house with 2 sides where 2 different families usually lived one on each side of a dividing wall.   It was not a huge house but it was nice for what it was.   It had a small kitchen and dining room and living room down stairs and out side had 2 bedrooms upstairs.   The third bedroom that should have been on our side of the house had been sectioned off to the other side of the house when the owner took in her 4 grandchildren.    This house had a good roof the bathroom was a little weird it was in the basement the commode and sink were boxed in on one side of the basement, and the shower was on the other side.   So you would go to the boxed in area get undressed and then go in a towel to the shower on the other side of the basement.   It make for a bit chilly showering in the winter. 
     The house was heated by forced air heat.   Back in the day and for that matter even now that is not the most efficient heating , but we figured out a way to work around it.   We had an old green recliner chair in the living room near the heating vent.   They had to be set away from the walls back then to allow them to recline.   I am not even sure who discovered this first, but we discovered if you laid on the floor behind the chair you could put you feet right in front of the heating vent and get the nice warm air first before it had time to chill in the rest of the room.   The cool thing was the recliner was slid down away form the wall at the end also so you could lay behind the recliner with your feet on the vent and your head sticking out the side.   That positions kept you warm and also allowed you to watch tv at the same time.    My brother, our mother, and I all spent time in that spot.  More the once someone would fall asleep there all snuggled up with a blanket over them a pillow under their head and their feet on the warm vent.   Our dad never tried that spot out he would rather set in the recliner with his feet propped up.
     I had not thought of that vent or how warm and secure that made ups feel for decades.   Perhaps it was the phone call i got from my brother earlier that jarred it in my mind.   He wanted to ask me what the daughter of one of our neighbors from there was, and it got me thinking about those times.   Then when my furnace kicked on the memory of that warm vent flashed in my mind.   It is funny how the smallest things will trigger long tucked away memories is it not?