Have you ever had a fight with a friend? I mean a really really bad fight, one that hurts you so bad it cuts into the center of your heart like a knife? About 2 years ago I had one of those. I am sure some of you that read my blogs regularly remember the fight I am talking about. I wrote many blogs about it as I was trying to understand it in my head. Someone i used to have all the respect in the world for said something very hurtful to me and it tore away at my self esteem so badly it took me over a year to recover. This person had made and attempt to get in touch with me once and we actually talked for 4 hrs , but at that time she would not say sorry or even admit she did it because she was angry. I did not talk to her for months, but I heard through the grape vine something really bad happened in her life and I myself had been through the same some time back. As a result of me feeling sorry for her I had a message relayed to her if she needed someone to talk to she still had my number and could use it. She did. In fact we have spoken several times sense that and the last time I finally got what I needed to leave the unpleasantness of a couple years ago back there where it belongs. She finally admitted she had said what she said in anger. I can now forgive her and MAYBE we can get back the friendship we both missed with time.
I have mentioned before my ex that messed me up mentally. I am sure some of you will remember me saying I only got 2 good things out of that relationship, the beautiful moonstone pendant he sent me , and the ability to forgive. Before I met him I never forgave anyone that wronged me. I know the Bible says forgive someone 70X7 times, but before I met Marc I did not know how. Even thought he had a real mean side , he was the most forgiving person I ever met. I tell people you could walk up to him and shoot him right in the stomach , and if you said sorry and never hurt him again in time he would forgive you. I try to make that part of me. Sometimes it is not easy to forgive someone who has ripped your heart out and threw it on the ground. It helps to remember one thing all people are human with human emotions that sometimes overpower our brains. The thing is to realize it when it was just the anger talking and not your friends real feelings if they say something hurtful. The friend I had fought with a couple years ago and I are getting better, but I still have much anger at her husband, and maybe always will. He hurt me too in a different way and never said sorry. Even if he did say sorry I do not know if I would forgive him, because he made me a bunch of promises to get me to help them with a project they were working on, and then when he got what he wanted he broke every one of the promises. SO I am not sure I will be forgiving him even if he says sorry. I was talking to his wife the other day when he came home and asked her who she was talking to. I was hoping she would say none of your business lol , but she told him it was me. He was like oh tell her I said hey, I soooooooooo wanted to say he has a lot of nerve to act like nothing has changed , but I did not. I was polite and told her tel him hey, but I am sure by the tone in my voice she knew i was not happy. I am not going to allow my anger at him mess up the progress she and I have made to rebuilding our friendship.
I really think one of the best gifts you can give yourself is the ability to forgive those who hurt you. By forgiving them you do not stew over how hurt you are and the fact they do not care they hurt you. By forgiving them you make room in your heart for more joyful things.
I just wish another ( " I guess we will call her ex friend" sense she has me on ignore )would learn how to forgive. I have apologized , but It was after I apologized she put me on ignore. It is like another friend of mine once said to me when he apologizes after he was mean to me for a year. He said, " I apologized that is all I can do. It is not up to you if you accept it or not." I am choosing forgiveness with the friend I fought with 2 years ago, because in the good times I am way better with her then without her.
I want to talk about one more type of forgiving. That is forgiving yourself. I have another friend who can not forgive himself for something that happened when he was very young. I know that feeling ,because I have only very recently forgiven myself for something that happens when i was 15 . The big problem with life is even those of us that are psychic are rarely psychic enough to see the future outcome of things we do today. We tend to play the what if game with ourselves after something bad happens. We are like what if I had not made that call? Would he be alive today? We all need to stop the what if thinking wat has happened has happened so we need to fing a way around it, and go on with out lives.
jane_and.the_dragon
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Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are.
ht
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