I slept 10 hours on my first day of my supposed five day vacation. The next two days I slept like three hours each. Wow.. I can't imagine how to deal with all what I feel. I just broke down crying. I did take an amazing backcountry drive and a short barefoot walk yesterday. The reason for this feeling is my biggest hurt in my life. My mom died on May 10th 1993 from cancer. I was her primary caretaker for the last 18 months of her life.. No shit it has been 30 years and still can't even put words to how deeply this did and still affects me.
